Guilt

On Monday I took a sick day.  Not for Crohn's, but because I ate something that definitely wasn't quite right and gave me symptoms of food poisoning.  Basically I was puking all late afternoon/evening on Sunday.

Here's the thing: it took me a few hours to decide if I should call in.  Keep in mind I was curled up in the fetal position for 6 hours and kept on throwing up.  I kept on telling myself "I can get through tomorrow, this isn't that big of a deal".  But...I was still throwing up and I still couldn't eat anything solid until about 11 am the next day.

I was uncertain if I should call it because I felt like I "should" suck it up.  After all I teach through Crohn's symptoms on a very regular basis, so shouldn't I be able to suck it up despite the nausea?  That sounds insane, right?  Because it is.  I am so used to not having normal digestion that I had to talk myself into taking a sick day due to food poisoning.  I felt guilty.  So guilty.  Which is stupid, because again...food poisoning!  I was puking literally the minute before I went to bed, but I couldn't get over the "I could get through the day if I tried" feeling.

Over the past few days I am realizing that I really need to put that guilt to rest.  If I need a sick day, I need a sick day.  Even though I deal with digestion issues much more than your average person, that doesn't make my symptoms less legitimate.  If nothing else I need to pay even closer attention to my health because of my issues with Crohn's.  It is a work in progress, but I am hopeful that in the future I will have less guilt over taking time to prioritize my health.