I LOVE to travel. I love it so much. I love seeing new places. I love experiencing new foods. I love experiencing new things. I love trying things outside my comfort zone.
A big fear or mine whenever I travel is if I will have access to restrooms when I need them. I can't even begin to count up the times I have had to slip into a coffee shop and order a small mocha or hot cocoa or smoothie or whatever because I needed to use their restroom, but I didn't want to use it without ordering something. It has happened multiple times. Traveling multiplies that fear by about 50. I don't know what I'm going to face. I don't know when I will find public restrooms. That crippling fear in a way makes it worse because I am worrying about it.
Exhibit A: Road trips. I love road trips! I take an annual road trip with my BFF's to go camping. Typically I drive so I have control over where we go and when, plus they know about my Crohn's issues. It really isn't a problem...until we are in the middle of nowhere with no rest area, grocery store, or coffee shop in sight and I need to use the restroom in a dire situation. This has happened a couple of times. Fortunately gas stations have become a saving grace, but this is definitely a real fear. Oh how many times I have had to stop yet again at a rest area when I just wanted to drive.
Exhibit B: Plane rides. I love long distance travel too. We tend to take a big trip every summer and we fly to save time. Airports and planes fortunately are well-equipped for Crohn's patients with bathrooms available. Yet you get out of the airport and voila! I'm in a new area where I have no idea what the availability of restrooms is. It causes anxiety for me every time no matter what. I hate that. Fortunately there is typically a Starbucks or something nearby and again, I purchase -- or my husband purchases -- a small coffee, tea, whatever, so I don't feel bad about using their bathroom...
Exhibit C: Trips abroad. Like many people trips abroad are some of my favorite trips. There's something about exploring a totally new country, eating totally new foods, and experiencing totally new culture. I love wandering street markets. I love going to art museums. I love visiting the sights. I have visited 9 countries outside of the US and intend to grow that number. Yet, again...my need for restroom access is vital. There was one time when my school group had checked out of a hotel already and I had turned in my key, but as I was boarding the bus I realized I URGENTLY needed a bathroom, so I claimed I had "forgotten" an article of clothing, got my key back, and ran back to my room to use the restroom. Or that one time when we stopped the bus to stretch our legs in Europe and we had to pay to use the bathroom and I didn't have exact change so I had to exchange with someone.
Travel is so fun and so worthwhile, however IBD can put a wrench into the best laid plans. The new food, the new settings, the different schedule...all can affect anyone's digestion, especially someone with Crohn's or colitis. As someone who loves traveling but hates her gut, these are my best travel tips for those with IBD.
1. It is ok to change your day-to-day plans. It's hard to do so. I get it. You wanted to see the Louvre, Eiffel Tower, and Sacre Coeur all in one day. But sometimes your gut is telling you to stay in or close to your hotel, and that's ok too.
2. Learn to say "where is the bathroom?" in every language possible. This needs no explanation!
3. Make sure you have every medication you need on hand. Of course, research the guidelines for medication on airlines before flying, but make sure your medication schedule stays as close to the same as possible. Having temporary fixes such as Imodium can be beneficial too!
4. Plan lunch breaks. Restaurants likely will have public restrooms available for you to use! Plus, food. Yum.
5. Avoid trigger foods. This goes without saying. If you can't handle ice cream like yours truly, don't eat ice cream on your trip. If you can't handle 12 grain breads, don't eat 12 grain breads on your trip. Especially abroad, foods will be very different than what you're used to, so give your gut time to adjust.
6. Have FUN! The worst is feeling like you can't do everything your friends or family are doing. As scary as it is to go into the unknown where you don't know where your next restroom break will be, don't let that hold you back. Traveling is an adventure well worth experiencing.
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Dealing With Crohn's Disease as a Teacher
I am a music teacher. I teach 13 sections of music and I teach the band program at my school. I am incredibly passionate about my career and most days I love doing what I do, however having Crohn's Disease makes my job that much more difficult. To be honest I tend to teach through when I'm not feeling well with Crohn's symptoms because I feel bad either going home or staying home when I am dealing with cramps or diarrhea or anything else. Many of my "normal" days are days that other people would spend at home. I feel an obligation to teach my students and Crohn's becomes part of my routine.
In the past 6 years of teaching I have literally missed only one day of school due to Crohn's symptoms. One. Those who know me well know that I am insanely stubborn and refuse to let anything get me down...especially not an incurable disease. I have a pretty strong resilience, however there are days when honest I get fed up. I get frustrated with my circumstances, and that my job becomes that much harder with a chronic illness. For now my passion for music education carries me through, but sometimes I wonder if teaching is the right passion for me as a Crohn's patient? After all, as I get older it very well could continue its progression. On the same token I could be in remission too. I think of the stress of my job every single day. I think of how many times I have felt even more stressed out because of my disease. Those times when I am just cruising through my class because I am bloated or desperately have to use the bathroom but can't leave.
The biggest issue of course is I do not have the flexibility to use the bathroom whenever I need to. That is the hardest part. I am on a schedule where I am teaching kids solid, back to back, for hours at a time. Fortunately my coworkers know about my disease and if I need someone to watch the kids for a couple minutes while I run to the bathroom they are usually pretty good with that. Unfortunately I have left other teachers in charge of kids I should have been teaching a number of times, which I won't lie, makes me feel slightly guilty. Granted any teacher will tell you that they have had to ask other teachers to watch their class for an emergency pit stop, but I have to more often than others. Plus, as any teacher knows, leaving a class unattended is a big no-no. My classroom is fairly stranded -- I have a teacher next door, but she isn't always on the same schedule as me and can't necessarily help out when I need someone. I will fully admit I've had to leave my students for a few minutes before -- if no one is around and nature calls (urgently), I can't stay but I also feel like I can't leave. I can't wait for someone in the office to come down and bail me out. Often I will give the students an individual or small group task and be as quick as possible...fortunately the bathroom is literally right across the hall from my classroom. Still, I hate when I have to do this, even for just 2 minutes. I guarantee every teacher has had to do this at one point in their careers, that one moment where you realize you need to use the bathroom and can't wait for anyone else, but it happens to me more often than others, and I absolutely feel guilty because of that.
I am introverted, so I am always exhausted at the end of the day -- most teachers are, after all! -- and when you add Crohn's on top of that, I usually have little to no energy when I get home. Being "on" at all times, even when Crohn's is making it challenging to be my typical chipper self is so insanely difficult. I very often have a smile on my face even when I am feeling my worst. I try not to complain because this is the gut that I have to deal with and I might as well be positive even when it is the last thing I want to do. However...that is positively exhausting too. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained at the end of each school day.
Add to all of that when my prep hour is spend in the bathroom instead of getting things that I so desperately need to do done, and I'm wiped out. It weighs me down when I realize that so few other teachers deal with this, but I have to deal with it my entire life. It even makes me wonder if the classroom is the right place for me on a full time basis. I don't know what my disease will look like in 5 years, or 10 years. I am fortunate that my disease is still relatively mild, but what if that changes? How will I handle that? Despite being protected by the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I don't always have a backup teacher to watch my students at any moment of any day.
Every job has their stresses, absolutely. I am fortunate that I can handle stress very well, however I also see that stress makes my symptoms worse. I definitely find myself wondering if the symptoms cause the stress or vice versa!
For now I remain thankful that I have so many amazing, understanding coworkers who are there for me in whatever I need health-wise. I don't know what the next 10 years will bring for me career-wise, however I do know that I will continue to teach with joy and positivity, no matter how my gut feels!
In the past 6 years of teaching I have literally missed only one day of school due to Crohn's symptoms. One. Those who know me well know that I am insanely stubborn and refuse to let anything get me down...especially not an incurable disease. I have a pretty strong resilience, however there are days when honest I get fed up. I get frustrated with my circumstances, and that my job becomes that much harder with a chronic illness. For now my passion for music education carries me through, but sometimes I wonder if teaching is the right passion for me as a Crohn's patient? After all, as I get older it very well could continue its progression. On the same token I could be in remission too. I think of the stress of my job every single day. I think of how many times I have felt even more stressed out because of my disease. Those times when I am just cruising through my class because I am bloated or desperately have to use the bathroom but can't leave.
The biggest issue of course is I do not have the flexibility to use the bathroom whenever I need to. That is the hardest part. I am on a schedule where I am teaching kids solid, back to back, for hours at a time. Fortunately my coworkers know about my disease and if I need someone to watch the kids for a couple minutes while I run to the bathroom they are usually pretty good with that. Unfortunately I have left other teachers in charge of kids I should have been teaching a number of times, which I won't lie, makes me feel slightly guilty. Granted any teacher will tell you that they have had to ask other teachers to watch their class for an emergency pit stop, but I have to more often than others. Plus, as any teacher knows, leaving a class unattended is a big no-no. My classroom is fairly stranded -- I have a teacher next door, but she isn't always on the same schedule as me and can't necessarily help out when I need someone. I will fully admit I've had to leave my students for a few minutes before -- if no one is around and nature calls (urgently), I can't stay but I also feel like I can't leave. I can't wait for someone in the office to come down and bail me out. Often I will give the students an individual or small group task and be as quick as possible...fortunately the bathroom is literally right across the hall from my classroom. Still, I hate when I have to do this, even for just 2 minutes. I guarantee every teacher has had to do this at one point in their careers, that one moment where you realize you need to use the bathroom and can't wait for anyone else, but it happens to me more often than others, and I absolutely feel guilty because of that.
I am introverted, so I am always exhausted at the end of the day -- most teachers are, after all! -- and when you add Crohn's on top of that, I usually have little to no energy when I get home. Being "on" at all times, even when Crohn's is making it challenging to be my typical chipper self is so insanely difficult. I very often have a smile on my face even when I am feeling my worst. I try not to complain because this is the gut that I have to deal with and I might as well be positive even when it is the last thing I want to do. However...that is positively exhausting too. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained at the end of each school day.
Add to all of that when my prep hour is spend in the bathroom instead of getting things that I so desperately need to do done, and I'm wiped out. It weighs me down when I realize that so few other teachers deal with this, but I have to deal with it my entire life. It even makes me wonder if the classroom is the right place for me on a full time basis. I don't know what my disease will look like in 5 years, or 10 years. I am fortunate that my disease is still relatively mild, but what if that changes? How will I handle that? Despite being protected by the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I don't always have a backup teacher to watch my students at any moment of any day.
Every job has their stresses, absolutely. I am fortunate that I can handle stress very well, however I also see that stress makes my symptoms worse. I definitely find myself wondering if the symptoms cause the stress or vice versa!
For now I remain thankful that I have so many amazing, understanding coworkers who are there for me in whatever I need health-wise. I don't know what the next 10 years will bring for me career-wise, however I do know that I will continue to teach with joy and positivity, no matter how my gut feels!
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Colonoscopies - A Humorous Tale
So...colonoscopies are the.worst. I am 29 years old and have already had 3 colonoscopies. Ridiculous! They do, however, keep me healthy. Knowing what my gut looks like allows my doctors to make sure I'm on the correct medication, which is great...however, I will need a colonoscopy every other year for the foreseeable future, which is not fun. However, the one good thing is that it creates some really funny bathroom humor...which I'm all too good at!
Let me walk you through the internal dialogue I have every time a colonoscopy is on the horizon.
Let me walk you through the internal dialogue I have every time a colonoscopy is on the horizon.
Two Days Before Procedure
6:00 pm - I'd better make this meal count.
8:42 pm - I need a snack.
11:38 pm - I need another snack.
11:55 pm - I am going to eat ALL THE SNACKS IN THE KITCHEN.
12:00 am - Dagnabit. Here we go.
One Day Before Procedure
7:15 am - *YAWN* Breakfast will taste soooo good...waaaaaiiiiiiit.
7:18 am - Green Jello tasted better when I was 7.
8:49 am - I'm done with this crap.
10:02 am - Maybe I'll watch a movie, get my mind off of my hunger.
11:32 am - Chicken broth isn't a meal.
12:43 pm - I'm hungry.
12:44 pm - **Plans out the post-procedure meal on the internet.**
12:44 pm - **Plans out the post-procedure meal on the internet.**
1:34 pm - Nap time.
2:46 pm - That Gatorade looks nasty.
3:02 pm - Down the hatch...
3:23 pm - Oh CRAP, here we go.
3:30 pm - I just got back from the bathroom...here we go again.
3:38 pm - Mmmmm laxatives...
5:02 pm - I'm so done with this.
6:18 pm - I really want a sandwich.
6:59 pm - Good thing I bought all this tasty hard candy to get me through the rest of the day.
7:03 pm - Nap time.
9:38 pm - I could really use a snack...
Day of Procedure
5:30 am - Down the hatch...again.
5:43 am - I'm sick of these bathroom walls.
6:47 am - I really want breakfast.
7:02 am - I should have drank water 3 minutes ago when I could.
7:14 am - Nap time.
10:00 am - I CAN ALMOST EAT AGAIN.
10:05 am - I'd better crack a few jokes about "runs" with the nurse.
10:12 am - Sedation feels niiiiiice.
10:32 am - It's over already?
10:35 am - That was literally the longest fart I have ever had...well, since my last colonoscopy.
10:45 am - THEY HAVE SNACKS.
11:27 am - THIS BREAKFAST IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Guilt
On Monday I took a sick day. Not for Crohn's, but because I ate something that definitely wasn't quite right and gave me symptoms of food poisoning. Basically I was puking all late afternoon/evening on Sunday.
Here's the thing: it took me a few hours to decide if I should call in. Keep in mind I was curled up in the fetal position for 6 hours and kept on throwing up. I kept on telling myself "I can get through tomorrow, this isn't that big of a deal". But...I was still throwing up and I still couldn't eat anything solid until about 11 am the next day.
I was uncertain if I should call it because I felt like I "should" suck it up. After all I teach through Crohn's symptoms on a very regular basis, so shouldn't I be able to suck it up despite the nausea? That sounds insane, right? Because it is. I am so used to not having normal digestion that I had to talk myself into taking a sick day due to food poisoning. I felt guilty. So guilty. Which is stupid, because again...food poisoning! I was puking literally the minute before I went to bed, but I couldn't get over the "I could get through the day if I tried" feeling.
Over the past few days I am realizing that I really need to put that guilt to rest. If I need a sick day, I need a sick day. Even though I deal with digestion issues much more than your average person, that doesn't make my symptoms less legitimate. If nothing else I need to pay even closer attention to my health because of my issues with Crohn's. It is a work in progress, but I am hopeful that in the future I will have less guilt over taking time to prioritize my health.
Here's the thing: it took me a few hours to decide if I should call in. Keep in mind I was curled up in the fetal position for 6 hours and kept on throwing up. I kept on telling myself "I can get through tomorrow, this isn't that big of a deal". But...I was still throwing up and I still couldn't eat anything solid until about 11 am the next day.
I was uncertain if I should call it because I felt like I "should" suck it up. After all I teach through Crohn's symptoms on a very regular basis, so shouldn't I be able to suck it up despite the nausea? That sounds insane, right? Because it is. I am so used to not having normal digestion that I had to talk myself into taking a sick day due to food poisoning. I felt guilty. So guilty. Which is stupid, because again...food poisoning! I was puking literally the minute before I went to bed, but I couldn't get over the "I could get through the day if I tried" feeling.
Over the past few days I am realizing that I really need to put that guilt to rest. If I need a sick day, I need a sick day. Even though I deal with digestion issues much more than your average person, that doesn't make my symptoms less legitimate. If nothing else I need to pay even closer attention to my health because of my issues with Crohn's. It is a work in progress, but I am hopeful that in the future I will have less guilt over taking time to prioritize my health.
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