Dealing With Crohn's Disease as a Teacher

I am a music teacher.  I teach 13 sections of music and I teach the band program at my school.  I am incredibly passionate about my career and most days I love doing what I do, however having Crohn's Disease makes my job that much more difficult.  To be honest I tend to teach through when I'm not feeling well with Crohn's symptoms because I feel bad either going home or staying home when I am dealing with cramps or diarrhea or anything else.  Many of my "normal" days are days that other people would spend at home.  I feel an obligation to teach my students and Crohn's becomes part of my routine.

In the past 6 years of teaching I have literally missed only one day of school due to Crohn's symptoms.  One.  Those who know me well know that I am insanely stubborn and refuse to let anything get me down...especially not an incurable disease.  I have a pretty strong resilience, however there are days when honest I get fed up.  I get frustrated with my circumstances, and that my job becomes that much harder with a chronic illness.  For now my passion for music education carries me through, but sometimes I wonder if teaching is the right passion for me as a Crohn's patient?  After all, as I get older it very well could continue its progression.  On the same token I could be in remission too.  I think of the stress of my job every single day.  I think of how many times I have felt even more stressed out because of my disease.  Those times when I am just cruising through my class because I am bloated or desperately have to use the bathroom but can't leave.

The biggest issue of course is I do not have the flexibility to use the bathroom whenever I need to.  That is the hardest part.  I am on a schedule where I am teaching kids solid, back to back, for hours at a time.  Fortunately my coworkers know about my disease and if I need someone to watch the kids for a couple minutes while I run to the bathroom they are usually pretty good with that.  Unfortunately I have left other teachers in charge of kids I should have been teaching a number of times, which I won't lie, makes me feel slightly guilty.  Granted any teacher will tell you that they have had to ask other teachers to watch their class for an emergency pit stop, but I have to more often than others.  Plus, as any teacher knows, leaving a class unattended is a big no-no.  My classroom is fairly stranded -- I have a teacher next door, but she isn't always on the same schedule as me and can't necessarily help out when I need someone.  I will fully admit I've had to leave my students for a few minutes before -- if no one is around and nature calls (urgently), I can't stay but I also feel like I can't leave.  I can't wait for someone in the office to come down and bail me out.  Often I will give the students an individual or small group task and be as quick as possible...fortunately the bathroom is literally right across the hall from my classroom.  Still, I hate when I have to do this, even for just 2 minutes.  I guarantee every teacher has had to do this at one point in their careers, that one moment where you realize you need to use the bathroom and can't wait for anyone else, but it happens to me more often than others, and I absolutely feel guilty because of that.

I am introverted, so I am always exhausted at the end of the day -- most teachers are, after all! -- and when you add Crohn's on top of that, I usually have little to no energy when I get home.  Being "on" at all times, even when Crohn's is making it challenging to be my typical chipper self is so insanely difficult.  I very often have a smile on my face even when I am feeling my worst.  I try not to complain because this is the gut that I have to deal with and I might as well be positive even when it is the last thing I want to do.  However...that is positively exhausting too.  I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained at the end of each school day.

Add to all of that when my prep hour is spend in the bathroom instead of getting things that I so desperately need to do done, and I'm wiped out.  It weighs me down when I realize that so few other teachers deal with this, but I have to deal with it my entire life.  It even makes me wonder if the classroom is the right place for me on a full time basis.  I don't know what my disease will look like in 5 years, or 10 years.  I am fortunate that my disease is still relatively mild, but what if that changes?  How will I handle that?  Despite being protected by the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I don't always have a backup teacher to watch my students at any moment of any day.

Every job has their stresses, absolutely.  I am fortunate that I can handle stress very well, however I also see that stress makes my symptoms worse.  I definitely find myself wondering if the symptoms cause the stress or vice versa!

For now I remain thankful that I have so many amazing, understanding coworkers who are there for me in whatever I need health-wise.  I don't know what the next 10 years will bring for me career-wise, however I do know that I will continue to teach with joy and positivity, no matter how my gut feels!

Colonoscopies - A Humorous Tale

So...colonoscopies are the.worst.  I am 29 years old and have already had 3 colonoscopies.  Ridiculous!  They do, however, keep me healthy.  Knowing what my gut looks like allows my doctors to make sure I'm on the correct medication, which is great...however, I will need a colonoscopy every other year for the foreseeable future, which is not fun.  However, the one good thing is that it creates some really funny bathroom humor...which I'm all too good at!

Let me walk you through the internal dialogue I have every time a colonoscopy is on the horizon.

Two Days Before Procedure

6:00 pm - I'd better make this meal count.

8:42 pm - I need a snack.

11:38 pm - I need another snack.

11:55 pm - I am going to eat ALL THE SNACKS IN THE KITCHEN.

12:00 am - Dagnabit.  Here we go.

One Day Before Procedure

7:15 am - *YAWN* Breakfast will taste soooo good...waaaaaiiiiiiit.

7:18 am - Green Jello tasted better when I was 7.

8:49 am - I'm done with this crap.

10:02 am - Maybe I'll watch a movie, get my mind off of my hunger.

11:32 am - Chicken broth isn't a meal.

12:43 pm - I'm hungry.
12:44 pm - **Plans out the post-procedure meal on the internet.**

1:34 pm - Nap time.

2:46 pm - That Gatorade looks nasty.

3:02 pm - Down the hatch...

3:23 pm - Oh CRAP, here we go.

3:30 pm - I just got back from the bathroom...here we go again.

3:38 pm - Mmmmm laxatives...

5:02 pm - I'm so done with this.

6:18 pm - I really want a sandwich.

6:59 pm - Good thing I bought all this tasty hard candy to get me through the rest of the day.

7:03 pm - Nap time.

9:38 pm - I could really use a snack...

Day of Procedure

5:30 am - Down the hatch...again.

5:43 am - I'm sick of these bathroom walls.

6:47 am - I really want breakfast.

7:02 am - I should have drank water 3 minutes ago when I could.

7:14 am - Nap time.

10:00 am - I CAN ALMOST EAT AGAIN.

10:05 am - I'd better crack a few jokes about "runs" with the nurse.

10:12 am - Sedation feels niiiiiice.

10:32 am - It's over already?

10:35 am - That was literally the longest fart I have ever had...well, since my last colonoscopy.

10:45 am - THEY HAVE SNACKS.

11:27 am - THIS BREAKFAST IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN.